Thoughts

Thoughts, they seem to eat me alive. I try to hide from them, but it's like they're always there. Pushing me, pulling me, like rough waves scraping you up against rigid, deadly rocks. They are pounding on me, as if trying to get in my head. The thoughts, they're ripping me apart, eating my soul, and tearing at my heart. I just wish they could leave, or let me get better thoughts. The good seems to avoid me though. The cruel memories and feelings, twirling in my mind. As I lay in my bed, in that dark, hot room, I wonder. I wonder why I haven't put the suiside thoughts to action. Then I remember, my mother walks in, snuggles up against me and plays with my hair. I remember, my life could be worse, I could lose her. After all the times I thought of those awful thoughts, hating my mother, just wishing for it to end, I always secretly loved my mom. She is the reason I'm still alive. Even though she gives me alot of horrid thoughts, I still love her. I know I hurt her. I'm sorry Mom. I'm putting the thoughts aside, just for you. I love you Mom.